I made you a CD, but I eated it.

by Molly Lewis

backstage exclusive
  • Buy Disc

1.
MyHope 03:35
The years are going by so fast it really is bewilderin' And we'll be so-called "grown ups" and have mortgages and children I hope we all gain worldliness, and wisdom, maturity But I hope most of all that MySpace falls into obscurity I hope our profiles all go dead, entombed in distant servers A monument of your youth, although lacking its observers Your page will be an empty shell, when no one is behind it I hope your MySpace stays forever - and I hope that your kids find it How I hope that you forget your MySpace I hope it slips completely from your mind And I hope it stays up long enough for the next generation to find And I hope that it embarrasses your children I hope their bratty friends all forward it around And I hope that you forget your password So you cannot take it down If your kids think you vaguely square, it will be so much clearer When they laugh at the pictures you took in your bathroom mirror And all the bands you listen to, your kids will be exposin' "Who is this Soulja Boy you reference, who's 'Uh Oh Explosion'?" They'll marvel at how old you are, they'll "rofl" at your outfits Your tastes may pass as "vintage" in the future - but I doubt it I hope your cynical kids say, "Holy crap, this is great these comments date all the way back to 2008." I hope they dig through your pictures, and find some we might call compromising I hope that seeing young Mom in a swimsuit or smoking a hookah isn't too traumatizing But it will be past their comprehension They'll ask "Did Grandpa not give you enough attention?" [insert rocking out here] They might poke at your top 8 friends, read your comments at the most I only wish that they could see the inane bulletins you post
2.
Road Trip 04:53
VERSE I thought he was my partner Less than lovers, more than friends He said it wouldn't last But like the cosmos, it never ends They say he's going steady With some woman that I don't know I've never met this person But I think that I should go and say hello I wish that he'd step back And weigh his options for what they're worth She may be smart and pretty Oh, but our love has orbited the earth PRECHORUS I will not let her take my place I'm in a new kind of space race CHORUS But I don't tell my parents And I don't tell my friends I just grab some rubber tubing And I pull on my Depends And then I drive It's time for a road trip I've printed out these letters That he sent her, and all of that I've written these directions To her house, so we might have a little chat I'll take this airsoft pistol Should she makes threats against my life A wig and pepper spray And this eight inch Gerber folding knife PRECHORUS I will not let my man pursue her Now she will get what's coming to her CHORUS BRIDGE She's just a captain in the Air Force She's never been in outer space I guess I'll have to go remind her That I'm a g**damn astronaut And she should know her place I pass through the state border And I'm welcomed by a sign I can feel my heart pounding in my temples - and justice will be mine She's nowhere in the airport Then I recognize her car I see no reason why I should be fearful I've already come this far PRECHORUS I will not let her victimize me At this point nothing can surprise me CHORUS
3.
I used to get upset over giant papercuts and math equations Nothing stuck in my craw more than dogfights and shopping malls and tax evasion And sexist tabloid culture and Brangelina and paparazzi And Proposition 8 and discrimination and neo-Nazis But anymore these things don't seem to bother me Ever since I started hanging out with Mr. T He told me to stay out of drugs, and drink my milk And treat my mother right And I pity the fool who disagrees I disliked Gwen Stefani for her weird-ass voice and that stupid hair of hers And it felt like JK Rowling conspired to kill off all my favorite characters I disliked all the people I had to ride with on the commuter bus If Nancy Grace and I were to meet I would've kicked her in the uterus But my attitude has had a total overhaul Since Mr. T told me how to forgive them all He said "let the naysayers nay, I don't care what they say, "It's all jibber-jabber anyway" and I pity the fool who cannot rhyme. He said "I must go on, gotta help more kids and gotta spread my knowledge." I said "T, please don't go." He said, "Hold it, kid! You're old and you're in college." He said "You know all that I know, I can't teach you nothing, I swear it's true, Go out and live your life because there's so much goodness in the world for you. "You go watch as Bob Ross paints himself some happy trees And those happy cows on TV make you happy cheese." And then he dug in his spurs and rode into the sky on that thing from The Neverending Story And I pity the fool who mess with T.
4.
Peep Fight 01:16
The only words in this song are 1. Peeps 2. marshmallow 3. toothpicks 4. microwave 5. stomach 6. fight 7. sword 8. put 9. the 10. in You can probably figure out the rest from there.
5.
WORDS AND STUFF When I met you, I thought you were really smart And even more so when we started going out It was your intellect that really won my heart There was so much stuff you knew so much about I was hungry for knowledge, and I was single I didn't want to date and really hadn't planned to You were cool and you were smart and multilingual And I felt like I could really understand you But then, it went downhill and we can never get back to our better days I'm done, I've had my thrill and I think we ought to go our separate ways But it isn't you, it's me I guess we just weren't meant to be I thought we were inseparable, I thought you were my friend But looking back now, it all makes sense at the end You're sometimes vague, and you're often inconsistent You've no opinions, you never take a stance You're so dispassionate, you always sound so distant And I tell you, you know zilch about romance And not once did you ever say you love me You sent no flowers, you NEVER called me "honey" You always talked as if you were above me And it feels like you are always needing money Sometimes you generalize, And on better days your tone is condescending And when we talk books or films You ALWAYS find a way spoil the ending But it isn't you, it's me I need someone more scholarly I thought you had the answers, but your smarts are all pretend And my attraction only makes sense at the end You just believe everything you're ever told You never question, I'm pretty sure you don't fact check When someone puts ideas into your head You never blink, you immediately buy it I won't say that you have no integrity... but I might imply it It turns out you're not the guy I thought I knew and I think we need to stop and take a breather I never know if what you're saying's really true and frankly, sometimes, I don't think you know either You have no real facts, your knowledge is all heresay And I'm tired of playing all your stupid games You don't keep pictures of me, and you don't know my birthday I don't think that you even know my name You keep tabs on other girls But I notice there's no article for me You're known by all the world So I guess I'm just a droplet in the sea But it isn't you, it's me I owe you no apology I know not to judge my company just based upon its looks I'm too grown-up for your articles, it's time that I read books
6.
Well, here we are, Ford Theater. (Wow!) This is pretty awesome! I don't know what this play is but I don't really care because oh my word I can't believe the president is here! I can't see him, but I know he's sitting up there When Harper's Weekly runs his picture, I like to keep it, I like to tear it out but my husband doesn't like it when I do this. Says he only has so much patience, and I might just wear it out Now the play has started but my head is somewhere else. The way he freed the slaves or something, that's so dreamy I wonder what his view is like from way up in that box If I turn in my seat this way... No, maybe this way... He might see me He'll be like "Who's that fetching beauty?" and I'll wave and be like "hi" and I'll run off with him and we'll have tons of babies and we'll live in a log cabin and I'll stay home and brush his hair and my husband here can — What was that noise? ----- He's a tyrant and a crook, if you just take a closer look You can see the lies just dripping from his mouth He suffocated half the land with his long and bony hand And he doesn't give a damn about the south He robbed us all of house and home, and then he left us all alone It is obvious the deed that must be done He can't be trusted with the power, and now the clock has struck the hour I act on the behalf of everyone And I'll liberate my country Unseat the despot, the old rule will vanish I will turn the page of history We'll get a new start — Sic Semper Tyrannis! (ow, my foot) ----- I don't like this play, all the actors stink and the laughs are cheap I've been out all day, I just want to eat, I just want to sleep It's my second term, it's a fragile peace, hope it stays around My resolve is firm, I have made this bed, now I must lie down My nation's come a long way And today our many states may stand united 'Twas a heavy price we had to pay And I hope our efforts don't go unrequited Time has not been kind We lost thousands of boys, I lost two of my own North and south combined In an orgy of violence like none we have known Such a war was fought Brothers fought against brothers on my command But was it for naught When the slave are all free in a more perfect land? My first term went by so fast And so far I'm thankful for the years I've had The war is now in the past And this play really isn't that bad —
7.

credits

released October 15, 2009

license

tags

Molly Lewis recommends:

If you like Molly Lewis, you may also like: